January 3rd, 2008

Another busted month!!!

Well, here we are another month without a BFP. Actually, we didn't even make it long enough to test this month!! With the Holidays and us being so busy, we didn't have time to dwell too much during this TWW. That part is good. Joy asked me Wed night when I thought she should test. Thursday is 12 days past Insemination, so I said we should maybe wait until Friday to test. She had a yucky feeling in her belly on the way to work Thursday morning and e-mailed me before 11 AM to tell me she had started. DAMN!!!! (that was my actual reply)
I realize this is not an EXACT science and I think 2++ years and 15 combined tries now gives us reason to be tired of trying and not getting a single positive test. We both know that it will SOOOO be worth it when we do have that bundle of joy in our arms. But, right now those feelings of "will it ever happen for us" are hard to hold at bay. All of our friends who have, or still are TTC understand that feeling around the Holidays and how each Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthday make you feel like another year of failures and anticipation. And, as for the Birthdays, another year older and still no baby to love.
OK, enough venting.... 
We have called our OB/GYN to see if she will start Joy on Clomid or Femara. When we first told her we wanted to start trying with Joy, she told us to try 2 or 3 months and then call her for Meds. This seems like where we are. This was try #3 with Joy. I asked Joy if she wanted to skip this step with the OB and go straight to the Fertility Dr. and she said "NO". I think it is just something about the words Fertility Dr. that is intimidating. I know it has been for me. Mainly because you immediately feel like a failure for not being able to get PG to start with. Then, my first thought was, we can't afford to do IVF, so we don't need to even bother going to that Dr. 
But, our first fear was that there weren't any Fertility Dr's (RE) in our Area (Bible Belt) that would be willing to help us as a couple, conceive a child. We changed to this OB about a year and a half ago and when I got my last BFN, after 12 tries, she gave us a card for an RE who would be willing to help us in our area. That was such a relief.
I had told Joy, if we started trying with me again in the future, whether for #1 or #2, I wanted to go directly to the RE and not mess around with anything else.
The plus side of the RE is that they would monitor Joy during the month and see what kind and size of eggs she is producing.  
So, we are in limbo at the moment as to when we will be able to try again. I'll update when we know something.

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