Well, in my first post to catch-up, I mentioned a Very Important trip we planned. That trip was for us to get MARRIED in CA on our 11th anniversary. We left TN on Wednesday, October 15th for San Diego and got married on Friday, the 17th. We have been together for so long that I didn't really expect to feel any different during or after the ceremony. We were only missing a piece of paper, right?
Well, I was SOOOOO WRONG....
I have felt COMPLETELY DIFFERENT since we got ready to start the ceremony. I started crying first, which may be hard to believe, for those of you who know us both. As soon as Joy saw me, she started crying and couldn't stop. I didn't think I would be able to get thru my vows because I felt like I wouldn't be able to get the words out without completely losing it.
The whole ceremony and trip itself were the best we could have asked for.

The only downside is that we needed about 2 more days to see a few more things and actually have a day to rest and relax.
We tried to fit so many things in the 3 1/2 days we had, that we really didn't relax any.

But, hey, we can relax at home, right?!
So, that's our big news, for anyone who didn't know. We have pictures posted on our myspace page. Anyone who is in our friends list will be able to view them.

Hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for reading and trying to keep up with us.
I've got to be better about updating, but I've been so bummed with the bad news the past couple of months and the continuous delays that I've not been very motivated to post. I promise I will try to be better about this moving forward.
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First of two new posts, trying to catch everyone up...

OK, the last time I posted, we were waiting for September 15th to take the 2nd blood test.
Well, we took it and about a week later I got a phone call from the nurse. As we have come to expect, things didn't go easily, the test showed the CMV to still be Positive in my body.
GREAT... so you can imagine how frustrated and upset I was by this news. When they called to tell me that news, they said they would call the infectious disease Dr. to get them to schedule me an appointment with her. The appointment will get scheduled sooner if they call, than if I call for myself. So, they got it scheduled for Thursday, October 2nd.
I felt, once again, like my body is working against me and just felt like a failure...again.
I told Joy and a couple of or friends that the title "infectious disease Dr." made me feel like I have cooties or something. I know it's silly, it's just a scary title.
She was a nice person and said from the beginning that she thought I probably was getting false positives on the 1st two tests because I was asymptomatic. I was skeptical and told her so, because there were 2 different blood tests that came back positive. She said the test she would do would just go deeper into the blood cells to very if the virus is actually in the cells or not. She said it would have to be sent off to the lab and would take 5 days to complete at the lab.
We had a trip planned for 13 days from the date they took blood.
I didn't hear from them and finally called them on day 12 after the test. I really wanted an answer about this test before we left town so I could digest it and not have any stresses for this VERY important trip.
I'm THRILLED to say that it came back NEGATIVE!!! Woohoo!! 
They had already sent the letter to the RE so they would know we were ready to move forward. I was a little peeved because I had to call and chase them down for the results and I wasted so much stress and so many tears on these stupid wrong blood tests.

Since we returned home, I have had an ultrasound (Monday) to see which side I'm ovulating on since we can only try when the left side is ovulating. When I went to that appointment I was thinking this is finally the last step before we get started. Well, I found out at that appointment that they couldn't see ANY mature follicles.
This was cycle day 13, why wouldn't they see anything...well, maybe I ovulated early. The nurse did tell me that the injectibles would cause both ovaries to produce follicles but wouldn't change which side is dominant.
We are moving forward and plan on trying in November.
Then, right before I leave their office, I am told that there is a MANDATORY class for injectibles I have to take prior to starting. .OMG, does it ever end? Or begin, in this case?
The good news about that, was that they have this class every Tuesday at 1 PM. So, I went today to the class. It was no big deal, and I didn't expect it to be. But, it's nice to have it over with.
I should start in about two weeks, maybe a little less now. Then, I have to go in on CD 1 or 2 so they can check for cysts and my lining. I should start injectibles on CD3 and will be monitored continuously until time to do the trigger shot and IUI.
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Some progress, but more waiting to do...

It's been so long since I've posted, but not because nothing is happening. It's just that what has been happening is that more roadblocks have popped up along this journey and we STILL aren't ready to try with our RE yet. Oh, where to begin??

Let's see, while we waited for our required therapist appointment to come along, we both had to have blood work done. We were off on a Friday about 6 weeks ago now and decided to go ahead and have this done. Do we know how to enjoy a day off work, or what??

We had our therapist appointment and really, really liked her. It was an appointment to basically make sure we've thought of all the challenges we will face as a family and make sure we are on the same page about how we will handle those. The GREAT, but SOO NOT SURPRISING part, is that we were on exactly the same page on all the things discussed, even those that Joy and I had not spoken specifically about.
I got a call 5 weeks ago from the Dr's office to tell me the results of the test. I've had two prior blood tests done by other Dr's and had no weird or concerning results, so no big deal with this one, right? WRONG!!
First, my hormone levels all looked good, my thyroid results looked good. BUT, there was a portion of the test they are concerned about: I was showing positive for past exposure to CMV. But, don't fear, over 75% of the population has had CMV in their lifetimes and not even known it. But, I was also testing positive for having the virus currently active in my body. (???) Because of this, my RE will not move forward with an Insemination until I retest in 6 weeks and find that it's no longer active. I had never heard any specific information about CMV and didn't know what the concerns were, I just knew it was another month after our therapist appointment now before we would be able to talk to the RE about our next step, not even ready to try at that time. When I started doing some research, the decision to not inseminate made perfect sense. I could pass this along to our unborn child and would have an increased possibility of them being born with mental retardation, cystic fibrosis and other medical concerns. OK, so that made me think "someone up there is watching out for us to help us find this out and not be pregnant with this going on so we are not putting our child at greater risk."
Our RE also wanted me to have and HSG test done to make sure my tubes were clear. I've had this done 2 other times, the last result was that they couldn't see my right tube. I was told "it's either clogged or not there at all". Well, as someone wanting desperately to get pregnant, that was a HUGE blow and I was devastated by those results back then. I've been told by multiple Dr's and friends alike, to make sure and do this test right before we try to get pg because this can help clear the tubes and increase the pg chances. So, when I got the blood work news back, I had a decision to make. I asked the nurse if I could wait to have this test done a month or so later so I am ready to start trying the next month. She said "that decision is entirely up to you. Just remember that if you wait and then the test shows something the Dr. will need to do a procedure to fix, you will be delayed trying even longer". That being the case, we decided to go ahead and have this test done.

So, we had this done last Tuesday, August 26th. I was pretty nervous because I was so hoping we could see two tubes and it would all be ok. We got set-up and he had the screen where I could see what was going on. After a few minutes, and some intense cramps, he pointed out what he was seeing. No dye was going thru the right tube. He asked me about the laprascopic surgery I had done to remove a cyst in my uterus two years ago and how long that was done before I had this test the last time. I told him and he said he would let them take me back to the little room and he would come see us in a few minutes. I was disappointed, but not shocked like last time. When he came to see us, he said he thought the problem was when the cyst from the top right side of my uterus was removed, it caused scar tissue to grow over and block my tube. He showed us the pictures from the test and how where the right side should go into a funnel shape to the opening of the tube, mine is blunted. It's nice to hear a reason for this that makes sense. I felt good that he said we could go in and remove that but not promise it wouldn't grow back over and cause the same problem. The problem is, that for almost two years now, every other month we had ZERO CHANCE OF GETTING PREGNANT because the eggs aren't making it thru the tube. NICE...GREAT!!! HOW MUCH MONEY HAVE WE WASTED TRYING EVERY OTHER MONTH WHEN IT COULDN'T POSSIBLY WORK??!!  So, we will be trying every other month, when we do actually get to start trying. 
The next POSSIBLE hurdle he advised us of was when I said "after I get this next blood test and see the CMV virus is no longer active, we can start talking about when we will try, right? His response was: "Well, IF your follow-up blood test is negative for active CMV, you are correct. However, IF the test still shows CMV to be active, I will send you to an Infectious Disease Dr. and they will have to get this under control and make sure it is no longer active before we can even talk about trying."  Excuse my frustration here.. but WTF??!!!
The ignorant part of me was lulled into thinking the 2nd blood test was merely a formality. I don't know why I didn't think it could still be active, I guess because I just didn't know anything about CMV and the nurse didn't lead me to believe there was any concern about another test possibly coming back active again.
The next morning, on the way to work, I had a slight breakdown and confused Joy a little. She didn't really understand why I was upset and I just had to tell her that I'm SOOOO frustrated that even though we have been moving in the right direction by finding an RE and getting things ready, there has been ONE HURDLE AFTER ANOTHER since our first visit with him and that's been almost two months now and we are at least another month and a half from being able to try for our first time with him. On top of that, we may be much longer than that depending on this blood test and add to that, the fact that when we are actually close to starting, we will have to see if I'm ovulating on the correct side or if that will back us up another month. OMG, can you say BIOLOGICAL CLOCK??!! November will bring my 38th birthday and lord knows how long it will still take us when we finally do get started.
Sorry for such a HUGE post and I promise, regardless of how this post sounds, I'm really not feeling completely negative about the process, just ready to be ttc again. The sooner we start trying again, the sooner we will get pg, right?
The last thing I can think of that's been going on, is that I had a friend on one of the boards I belong to who has gotten pregnant, YEAH, who offered to send me her left-over injectibles at no cost, except shipping, because her insurance paid for it completely and she knew we had been trying for so long and wanted to help. Well, I wasn't in a huge hurry to get them here and we talked on e-mail about the shipping and I asked her to find out how much it would be so I could send a Money order or something to pay for it to be shipped with dry ice so they wouldn't ruin. Since then, I've had a really hard time getting her to respond to my e-mails and I think our chances of getting her meds at this point are slim to none. The biggest part that sucks about that is that I was very trusting of the fact that this would work out and felt great that it was going to save us $750 to $850 PER TRY, since our insurance will exactly ZERO toward any of this process. Oh well, no reason to cry over spilled milk there, huh? Disappointing, but I guess it's just something else to add to our list.

The next, and hopefully last, hurdle is the blood test, which I can have done anytime September 15th or later.

If you've actually read this far, THANK YOU for your patience and support!!
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Appointment #1

Well, our first RE appointment went well, I'm happy to report. None of the staff at the Fertility Center looked twice at us, so no problems or issues there!! Yea!!! 
This RE requires all couples who will be using donor sperm to go to a certain psychotherapist for a one hour visit prior to getting started. We both understand that and are fine with it. The part that sucks is that she is booked for the next two weeks and then is on two weeks vacation.  So our appointment with her is set for August 13th. Seems way off right now, but hopefully it will pass quickly.
In the meantime, I need to get my files from the NP and the laproscopic paperwork to his office. Then, I need to get the paperwork from the bank to have his office sign it for them to ship the tank to his office directly. They will store up to 10 vials and charge the same fee for up to one year of storage. We won't really know what our steps are going to be until the Dr. has had a chance to look at all of my previous records to see what I've had done already to see what all tests he needs for us to do.
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A new path to our little one...

Well, we are FINALLY going to see an RE (fertility Dr.) Our appointment is Tuesday, July 7th. For those that don't know us IRL, we had been told previously that we would not be able to find an RE willing to work with a same-sex couple in our area. We got a card from our OB/GYN at the beginning of the year and decided we wanted to try with the acupuncture alone before we went this more expensive and more invasive route. When I first called to set-up the consult visit, I was SOOOO nervous because the number I called said it was for the Nashville Fertility Center and I was just waiting on them to return my message and tell me how they couldn't help us. 
After a couple of hours of filling out paperwork on-line and playing a little phone tag with the scheduler, I'm happy to say that she told me they will consider us "a couple" and I had to fill-out initial paperwork for Joy as well, even though she isn't the one who will carry. A little strange to me, but maybe that's the best way they've figured out to deal with our situation in their office. HEY, I'm fine with it, as long as they help us have our baby!! :)
I have plenty of friends on the message boards who have used an RE to help get pregnant. I think I have a clue of what to expect, but the first visit with him is still nerve-racking all the same. 
So, I'll be back on to update our next steps when we've finished that initial visit. I don't want to speculate now because I don't know how aggressive he will want to be until we meet. 

Hope everyone has a WONDERFUL 4th of July!!

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Another month, another BFN

Well, we did try again in June. Our timing seemed really good, but that doesn't seem to be different for us. I am going to make a phone call this week for an RE appointment. I haven't been to one before and am not excited about it because our insurance won't cover anything, so it's going to be a LOT more money out of pocket. 
We will be trying again without any drugs this month because I'm sure we won't get in the game in time to have the discussions we need to have before I O. 

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What is up with this cycle?

So, I mentioned last post that I had started for May's cycle. What I failed to mention was that I started on CD23??!!! WTF??!!! I have had a 28 day cycle for 3 months, since I started Acupuncture. While I was starting exactly 28 days from the time I had started the prior month, my surge was starting on CD10 or CD11. Four months ago, we actually had to send the swim team back to the bank because we had it delivered on CD12 and I had started my surge about 2 AM that morning. I could feel myself ovulating that morning at work and we had ordered two vials. I didn't want to waste using one of them and still have to send another back.
I had been a day 13 or 14 day surger basically every month. So, I thought the acupuncture had just sped up my surge and I've adjusted when I have the swimmers shipped to us each month and planned accordingly. 
Well, this month I had to have the swimmers delivered on day 7 because that was a Friday and Monday was going to be day 10 and I didn't want to risk it. So, here we are at CD11 or 12 (because I started very late on Saturday night, so not sure if Sat or Sun was actually cd1) and there is still NO SURGE showing up on the predictor stick. The swimmers should be fine until Saturday or Sunday, so that would be OK. But, I got a phone call Tuesday morning that my uncle had taken his life Monday night. The funeral will be about 4 to 5 hours away on Saturday morning. So, I'm leaving before lunch on Friday and Joy isn't going. This means we have to do two IUI's by Friday morning in order to get them in. I'll be checking before bed tonight to see if I've started to surge. If not, I'll get up extra early in the morning to check again. We'll fit them in somehow, but I'm hoping my surge starts because I hate to go thru aTWW feeling negative about our timing. That just makes the TWW seem to drag even more. Well, we'll see how it goes. I'll try to update on Sunday when I get home,

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I've been a slacker poster again..

OK, so it's been a month since I posted, again. Needless to say, we are STILL not pregnant. The month of April, we think we may have had good timing. I had some symptoms I've never had before and can't just explain away. We tried again in May, but I was not too comfortable with our timing and wasn't surprised. I just started last Saturday, so we're on to June. 
I'm so excited because a couple of my on-line buddies who have been trying almost as long as us, have recently gotten their BFP's!!! Both of them happen to have been using KD's. We're not able to do that at this time, so we'll keep trying with the frozen swimmers and hope we get our timing right before long. 
Not much news to share otherwise. Hopefully that will change before long.

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Time for an update, maybe??

 I haven't bothered with updating our blog because I no longer have access to do so at work. And, to be honest, I don't usually want anything to do with the computer when I get home at night. But, a good friend of our's Erica, who we haven't talked to in a while, e-mailed me and mentioned that she tries to keep up with us thru our blog. Thanks Erica, you've given me a renewed desire to add a post on here, since I know someone will eventually read it. Erica and Julie and heading for Hawaii' in a couple of days and will be gone for 13 days!! WHAT FUN!!!
As for Joy and I , there is NO pregnancy news yet. But, we have been busy all the same. I've had acupuncture for two months now and can honestly say that I am mentally and emotionally in a better place on this ttc journey than I've been in over a year. 
My cycles, since starting acupuncture , have changed somewhat. About a year and a half ago I had a Hystogram done. For anyone not familiar with this, it is a dye test where you are put under ultrasound and dye is injected thru a small catheter (tube) into your cervix and up thru your tubes. This is to verify both tubes are open and ready for conception. I had this done once about 2 years ago and all was fine. But, a year and a half ago when I had a second one done, the dye wouldn't flow thru my left tube. I was DEVASTATED by that news. We'd already tried for over a year to get pg and hadn't even gotten a positive test yet. The last thing I needed to worry about was being short a tube. Well, I didn't have any reason to think the tube had disappeared and no medical issues that would lead me to believe it had ruptured since the first test. 
The first month after starting acupuncture my period was strange. I only had a 2 day cycle, but after going for an acu appointment on my 4th day of cycle, I restarted. Then, I went again on day 9 or 10 of my cycle and restarted that evening. But, this restart was not the color of blood at all, it was a very light color, but thicker than just a discharge. In my head, I thought "maybe this is actually helping to clear out my left tube!!" We tried a natural cycle that month and it didn't work, but I wasn't surprised or disappointed because I felt like we were making some progress after that weird cycle. 
When I started this past month, the blood was brighter red than I have had in over a year. When my acu Dr, and I discussed this, he was very excited and said this was VERY GOOD news because it meant we had improved circulation to my ovaries and uterus and this was the first step in preparing my body to carry a baby. 
We just inseminated on Sunday, April 13th and Monday, April 14th. I'm excited to feel like we are doing something good for my body as a whole PLUS I think it is moving us closer to the little one that is waiting for us. I don't really feel like a newbie, but I am optimistic about our chances, if not this month itself, over the next 3 to 4 months of tries, I feel like we will finally see that BFP!!!!

I'll try to do better about updating this blog. 
Thanks to anyone who is reading! Please keep us in your thoughts/prayers.
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We are thrilled to help welcome Sindy and Scarlett's TRIPLETS!!! We got word last night that the Two boys and a Girl arrived Tuesday night at 5:16, 5:17 and 5:18 that evening. I've spoken briefly with Sindy and they are all doing fine. I will speak to her again Friday and find out the weights and lengths of all three. The momma's are not ready to give out name information yet and we respect their privacy. WE ARE JUST SO EXCITED THAT THEY ARE HERE AND EVERYONE IS DOING WELL!! And, Sindy....when you read this...WE CAN'T WAIT FOR PICTURES!!! 

Much Love to the new family!!!
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