ALL U NEED IS LOVE.....(and SWIMMERS)

Title:	Appointment #1
Date:	2008-07-08 @ 19:51
Security:	public
Mood:	accomplished

Well, our first RE appointment went well, I'm happy to report. None of the staff at the Fertility Center looked twice at us, so no problems or issues there!! Yea!!!
This RE requires all couples who will be using donor sperm to go to a certain psychotherapist for a one hour visit prior to getting started. We both understand that and are fine with it. The part that sucks is that she is booked for the next two weeks and then is on two weeks vacation. So our appointment with her is set for August 13th. Seems way off right now, but hopefully it will pass quickly.
In the meantime, I need to get my files from the NP and the laproscopic paperwork to his office. Then, I need to get the paperwork from the bank to have his office sign it for them to ship the tank to his office directly. They will store up to 10 vials and charge the same fee for up to one year of storage. We won't really know what our steps are going to be until the Dr. has had a chance to look at all of my previous records to see what I've had done already to see what all tests he needs for us to do.

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Title:	A new path to our little one...
Date:	2008-07-02 @ 20:59
Security:	public
Mood:	determined

Well, we are FINALLY going to see an RE (fertility Dr.) Our appointment is Tuesday, July 7th. For those that don't know us IRL, we had been told previously that we would not be able to find an RE willing to work with a same-sex couple in our area. We got a card from our OB/GYN at the beginning of the year and decided we wanted to try with the acupuncture alone before we went this more expensive and more invasive route. When I first called to set-up the consult visit, I was SOOOO nervous because the number I called said it was for the Nashville Fertility Center and I was just waiting on them to return my message and tell me how they couldn't help us.
After a couple of hours of filling out paperwork on-line and playing a little phone tag with the scheduler, I'm happy to say that she told me they will consider us "a couple" and I had to fill-out initial paperwork for Joy as well, even though she isn't the one who will carry. A little strange to me, but maybe that's the best way they've figured out to deal with our situation in their office. HEY, I'm fine with it, as long as they help us have our baby!! :)
I have plenty of friends on the message boards who have used an RE to help get pregnant. I think I have a clue of what to expect, but the first visit with him is still nerve-racking all the same.
So, I'll be back on to update our next steps when we've finished that initial visit. I don't want to speculate now because I don't know how aggressive he will want to be until we meet.

Hope everyone has a WONDERFUL 4th of July!!

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Title:	Another month, another BFN
Date:	2008-06-23 @ 18:15
Security:	public
Mood:	determined

Well, we did try again in June. Our timing seemed really good, but that doesn't seem to be different for us. I am going to make a phone call this week for an RE appointment. I haven't been to one before and am not excited about it because our insurance won't cover anything, so it's going to be a LOT more money out of pocket.
We will be trying again without any drugs this month because I'm sure we won't get in the game in time to have the discussions we need to have before I O.

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Title:	What is up with this cycle?
Date:	2008-06-04 @ 17:49
Security:	public
Mood:	confused

So, I mentioned last post that I had started for May's cycle. What I failed to mention was that I started on CD23??!!! WTF??!!! I have had a 28 day cycle for 3 months, since I started Acupuncture. While I was starting exactly 28 days from the time I had started the prior month, my surge was starting on CD10 or CD11. Four months ago, we actually had to send the swim team back to the bank because we had it delivered on CD12 and I had started my surge about 2 AM that morning. I could feel myself ovulating that morning at work and we had ordered two vials. I didn't want to waste using one of them and still have to send another back.
I had been a day 13 or 14 day surger basically every month. So, I thought the acupuncture had just sped up my surge and I've adjusted when I have the swimmers shipped to us each month and planned accordingly.
Well, this month I had to have the swimmers delivered on day 7 because that was a Friday and Monday was going to be day 10 and I didn't want to risk it. So, here we are at CD11 or 12 (because I started very late on Saturday night, so not sure if Sat or Sun was actually cd1) and there is still NO SURGE showing up on the predictor stick. The swimmers should be fine until Saturday or Sunday, so that would be OK. But, I got a phone call Tuesday morning that my uncle had taken his life Monday night. The funeral will be about 4 to 5 hours away on Saturday morning. So, I'm leaving before lunch on Friday and Joy isn't going. This means we have to do two IUI's by Friday morning in order to get them in. I'll be checking before bed tonight to see if I've started to surge. If not, I'll get up extra early in the morning to check again. We'll fit them in somehow, but I'm hoping my surge starts because I hate to go thru aTWW feeling negative about our timing. That just makes the TWW seem to drag even more. Well, we'll see how it goes. I'll try to update on Sunday when I get home,

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Title:	I've been a slacker poster again..
Date:	2008-05-27 @ 18:46
Security:	public
Mood:	calm

OK, so it's been a month since I posted, again. Needless to say, we are STILL not pregnant. The month of April, we think we may have had good timing. I had some symptoms I've never had before and can't just explain away. We tried again in May, but I was not too comfortable with our timing and wasn't surprised. I just started last Saturday, so we're on to June.
I'm so excited because a couple of my on-line buddies who have been trying almost as long as us, have recently gotten their BFP's!!! Both of them happen to have been using KD's. We're not able to do that at this time, so we'll keep trying with the frozen swimmers and hope we get our timing right before long.
Not much news to share otherwise. Hopefully that will change before long.

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Title:	Time for an update, maybe??
Date:	2008-04-16 @ 20:15
Security:	public
Mood:	devious

I haven't bothered with updating our blog because I no longer have access to do so at work. And, to be honest, I don't usually want anything to do with the computer when I get home at night. But, a good friend of our's Erica, who we haven't talked to in a while, e-mailed me and mentioned that she tries to keep up with us thru our blog. Thanks Erica, you've given me a renewed desire to add a post on here, since I know someone will eventually read it. Erica and Julie and heading for Hawaii' in a couple of days and will be gone for 13 days!! WHAT FUN!!!
As for Joy and I , there is NO pregnancy news yet. But, we have been busy all the same. I've had acupuncture for two months now and can honestly say that I am mentally and emotionally in a better place on this ttc journey than I've been in over a year.
My cycles, since starting acupuncture , have changed somewhat. About a year and a half ago I had a Hystogram done. For anyone not familiar with this, it is a dye test where you are put under ultrasound and dye is injected thru a small catheter (tube) into your cervix and up thru your tubes. This is to verify both tubes are open and ready for conception. I had this done once about 2 years ago and all was fine. But, a year and a half ago when I had a second one done, the dye wouldn't flow thru my left tube. I was DEVASTATED by that news. We'd already tried for over a year to get pg and hadn't even gotten a positive test yet. The last thing I needed to worry about was being short a tube. Well, I didn't have any reason to think the tube had disappeared and no medical issues that would lead me to believe it had ruptured since the first test.
The first month after starting acupuncture my period was strange. I only had a 2 day cycle, but after going for an acu appointment on my 4th day of cycle, I restarted. Then, I went again on day 9 or 10 of my cycle and restarted that evening. But, this restart was not the color of blood at all, it was a very light color, but thicker than just a discharge. In my head, I thought "maybe this is actually helping to clear out my left tube!!" We tried a natural cycle that month and it didn't work, but I wasn't surprised or disappointed because I felt like we were making some progress after that weird cycle.
When I started this past month, the blood was brighter red than I have had in over a year. When my acu Dr, and I discussed this, he was very excited and said this was VERY GOOD news because it meant we had improved circulation to my ovaries and uterus and this was the first step in preparing my body to carry a baby.
We just inseminated on Sunday, April 13th and Monday, April 14th. I'm excited to feel like we are doing something good for my body as a whole PLUS I think it is moving us closer to the little one that is waiting for us. I don't really feel like a newbie, but I am optimistic about our chances, if not this month itself, over the next 3 to 4 months of tries, I feel like we will finally see that BFP!!!!

I'll try to do better about updating this blog.
Thanks to anyone who is reading! Please keep us in your thoughts/prayers.

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Title:	CONGRATULATIONS SINDY AND SCARLETT
Date:	2008-02-21 @ 20:46
Security:	public
Mood:	giddy

We are thrilled to help welcome Sindy and Scarlett's TRIPLETS!!! We got word last night that the Two boys and a Girl arrived Tuesday night at 5:16, 5:17 and 5:18 that evening. I've spoken briefly with Sindy and they are all doing fine. I will speak to her again Friday and find out the weights and lengths of all three. The momma's are not ready to give out name information yet and we respect their privacy. WE ARE JUST SO EXCITED THAT THEY ARE HERE AND EVERYONE IS DOING WELL!! And, Sindy....when you read this...WE CAN'T WAIT FOR PICTURES!!!

Much Love to the new family!!!

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Title:	ALL THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS TO BLEU AND BLISS
Date:	2008-02-21 @ 20:39
Security:	public
Mood:	sad

Today, our friend Bleu learned that she has lost her two little angels. We send all our love and good energy to her and her beautiful son during this difficult time. Those of you who have suffered this horrible type of tragedy understand better than I, but there truly are worse things than not ever getting a BFP......getting one, only to Miscarry before ever having the opportunity to meet your sweet blessings. We have other friends who have been thru miscarriages, including our good friend Gia and know that this is unfortunately a common occurrence and one you never forget or truly get over. However, we hope all of our friends still ttc get their wonderful little additions to their families.

BB & Joy

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Title:	Change of plan...Taking the month off
Date:	2008-02-19 @ 20:08
Security:	public
Mood:	content

Well, NO ONE wants to be pregnant and have a baby more than me.
BUT, I had the swimmers shipped on Monday to be received on Tuesday because Wed would be CD14.

Well, genius that I am, I didn't have them shipped early. Guess what? I showed my surge at 2:45 this morning (Tues), I am one of those crazy people who ovulates soon after my surge. So, here I am with no sperm and ovulating between 6 and 8 on Tues morning. I have clear signs when I'm ovulating, as well as plenty of twinges and discomfort. So, I had no doubt we were going to miss the big O and had 2 vials sent. So, I contacted our Great DR. at the sperm bank and told her I would be sending them back because of bad timing.
But, you know what?

I completely believe that everything happens for a reason. So, I think my body was sending me a sign and telling me it wasn't ready to go this month. Since I've been reading this book about TCM and infertility, I'm taking this opportunity to look into TCM and see what I can do to help our chances. I called Tuesday morning to a clinic that does acupuncture and focuses on TCM for different things, including infertility. I have a consultation appointment for Sunday (yes, I said Sunday!!) I'm so excited that this seems to be a clinic that is open some extended hours. Hopefully the practitioners will be helpful and open to helping us as a couple.
I'll wait until after the consult to see what he says, but I'm sure this could cause us to take some additional time off to get seriously started with acupuncture and maybe some diet changes.
For any of you that read our blog and do or have done acupuncture, can you give me an idea of the range of $$$ charged?
I'll find out Sunday for sure, but just trying to be prepared for what we are looking at. Whatever it is, we've decided it won't cost as much as it will to do injectibles thru an RE.
Thanks for reading and have a Great rest of the week!!
I also want to give a big CONGRATULATIONS to Bleu, she got to see two sacks, looking like twins!!! She has had previous m/c's, so cautiously optimistic right now but we are SO EXCITED for her rand praying and crossing everything that they both stick!!!

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Title:	WOW, I've become a real slacker with posting on this blog!!
Date:	2008-02-17 @ 12:07
Security:	public
Mood:	hopeful

My last post was very hopeful about our timing with Joy for the month of January. As I'm sure you could imagine, I would have definitely posted had we gotten a BFP. So, needless to say, we were not lucky again.
Joy came to the decision after this last month that she wanted us to try again with me. She is concerned about her weight being a factor working against her getting pregnant.
We've decided to try from home with me this month and if that doesn't work again, we have the card for a Reproductive/Fertility Dr. who we will then contact. Our reason for delaying going down this path is because our Insurance will not cover ANYTHING for Infertility. So, if the Dr. says we need to try using injectibles, we will be out the total cost of the meds and all ultrasounds that they feel they need to do. We are still using our "super swimmers" that we used with Joy last try, hoping he will get me pg this try. I'm not feeling negative about this try working, but I'm not exactly full of optimism either. Afterall, we have already tried 12 times with me with NO success. But, we haven't used this donor on me yet and we are ordering two vials, so we'll give it all we've got this month and see how it goes!! My O date should be the middle of this next week (Feb 19-22), and then on to more waiting.
I think the most frustating part of this is that money could be the one thing that would be able to keep us from achieving our dreams of having a baby. I know that isn't specific to us, I have plenty of on-line friends who are in the same boat and know exactly how we are feeling.
I've bought a book this weekend about infertility and ways that Western Medicine can combine with more holistic treatments (TCM) can combine to help achieve pregnancy.

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